Having a history of depression, I have to draw on all my inner strength to stay mentally health when my physical health is failing.
The Darkness (Depression) has a history of making me feel like not doing anything and feeling useless. One of the ways I cope is to dissociate or separate myself from it. I focus on something else, like my physical health. Once I was in hospital for two weeks with heart problems. There were a lot of intense medical interventions and I had to focus on getting better. Focusing on your mental health is a lot harder than focusing on your physical health. Even though I was sick with a heart problem, I just told myself that it would go away, that this would not be permanent. The doctors were good at reassuring me it was a temporary thing. And it meant a lot to have all my family there, I knew I wasn’t alone. Even if I got bad news I would still have family and friends there to support me.
I also use skills of distraction so I don’t think about negative things, and to focus on the positive. I tell myself how lucky I am, to appreciate that I have a roof over my head, and friends and family who care. It reminds me to be content with what I have, not always wanting more. I think I learned this from my parents. Both of my parents were always thankful and don’t take anything for granted. They weren’t given anything, they had to work for what they got. They appreciate things more and are happy and content with what they have. They take pride in the stuff they have and in themselves. I noticed the way my parents treated their parents. I watched my mum care for her mum when she was sick. She would visit all the time and have her on weekends. Nan was very proud of her children, even ones that didn’t treat her very well. She had unconditional love for all her children despite their flaws. Being thankful and appreciative of what I have helps me get through when I have difficult times with my health. I’ve been through hard times before; knowing I’ve got close family and friends makes all the difference.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with motivation, feeling constantly fatigued and a lack of energy. Everything takes a real effort. But this time I think it is my physical health that is impacting on how I’m feeling. Focusing on my physical health helps to keep the darkness away.
If I knew other people struggling like I am, I would say try to find friends and family who can empathise with what you’re going through. For me, just having them there, asking how you are and genuinely caring makes a difference. Be thankful and appreciative of what you have.
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