When I’m on a high, I have lots of ideas rushing around in my head. I try really hard to contain myself and hold back my ideas. But everything gets built up. Sometimes I might spontaneously blurt something out and offend someone. They might react in Anger and then set off my Anger and we end up in a fight.
I really don’t want to offend or upset anyone. I try hard to hold myself back from sharing everything in my head. I believe my stuff shouldn’t affect others. So I put myself to the back in order to keep my friends.
I’ve learnt that this is more likely to happen when I am not doing anything to use up this energy or keep my mind occupied. To burn off this energy, I can do something physical like dancing or just being an idiot in my room, to move my body like going for a ride, playing golf or hoola hooping, wrestling with my sister or making something with my hands. I can sometimes offload or talk about all the ideas in my head like the time my friends and I were doing skits at school during lunch time.
Sometimes all the stuff in my head can result in dumb stuff happening like jumping off a bridge or doing something risky. These thoughts make me believe I can do anything. I try to slow things down and think before doing things. I get this gut feeling that reminds me to think of the priorities and what makes sense, to be safe. Once at a cousin’s house, people were jumping into the river and they were telling me it’s not that deep, but my gut said not to do it. Another time I was really angry with a girl at school. She lied to me. I could have got into a fight. I was a lot bigger than her and I knew I could have choked her out. All the adrenaline in my body made me freeze. I could have really hurt this girl. My gut told me not to do it. I didn’t want to get in trouble. I told myself its not worth it, and karma will get her.
When you’re on a high and all that energy is rushing around your body, you can do dumb stuff. Its better to use that energy in a good way, a safe way. Instead of punching a wall, maybe sign up for karate or put that anger into training for boxing, then you’re not wasting that energy. You’re getting a benefit from that exercise. You need to make sure you get the equipment you need to do it safely. A lot of people used to tell me to calm down or sit down and meditate. Telling me to calm down is the worst thing you could have told me. Its much easier to direct the energy elsewhere than to take it away. It’s like a candle. You can’t put the wax back up. It’s easier to burn the whole candle. I’ve been boxing since I was 10 and so I just thought I’d try to redirect my energy that way instead. Dad taught me how to punch in a safe way so I don’t break my wrist. I’m also trained in jujitsu. I played rugby and learned how to tackle safely.
I knew when I was fighting that girl that I could have hurt her. I knew I was stronger than her. I could have knocked her out. But I was also taught by my parents about what’s right and wrong. Maybe I wasn’t thinking about that at the time but it was there in the background. Learning right and wrong from parents or teachers is about having respect. These lessons stick with you even when you’re pumping with energy. It’s important in the younger years to learn these things.
Dealing with manic energy is hard. Thinking before doing takes lots of practice. Directing your energy by doing other stuff is a good way of burning it off.
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