Expressive therapies Archives - ...metaphorically speaking

7 Reasons for Choosing Me as Your Therapist

December 27, 2019

by metaphor with No Comment Bush therapy Counselling Culturally Fit Social Workers Eco-social work Ecotherapy Expressive therapies Group work Healing from Trauma Healing with nature Health and wellbeing Mental health Narrative therapy Social Work with passion

So it is just about to clock over into a new year and a new decade. Are you filled with excitement or dread?

Perhaps it’s time to finally do something about that Anxiety that has stopped you from getting a job or going outside. Or maybe you want to shine the spotlight on the plans Depression has had for your life, because it doesn’t fit for you anymore. Or perhaps your life experiences or the state of planet have you believing that life will never be safe again?

If the idea of therapy, freaks you out (yeah, Anxiety can stop you from getting help too!), then here are 7 reasons why you might like to consider reaching out to me. Unlike other counsellors, I do have a few unique features that you won’t find elsewhere, as an alternative from traditional talk therapies.

I come to you.
If transport is an issue or the idea of meeting a stranger in an office doesn’t float your boat, no problem. I can meet you at your home, your workplace (if there is a suitable private space), or school (so you don’t have to run around delivering kids to their appointment).
You are not the problem here. Your problem is the problem.
Your problem is not inside of you, but perhaps it has been coming and going for so long now, it has you convinced there must be something wrong with you. Maybe other people also think that you need fixing. Together we will expose the problem for what it really is – something external to you. Something you can have control over. Something you can change.
I will meet you outside (if you like).
From a Western viewpoint, it’s called eco-therapy. If you’re from First Nations mob, yarning on country is what you have always done. And it’s a much better option for people who don’t feel comfortable eyeballing their therapist between four enclosed walls. I meet people on beaches, riverbanks and in parks, while taking the utmost care to maintain your privacy as much as possible. Being in nature provides a whole host of health and well-being benefits. I learned all about the healing aspects of being connected to the land from my time working in remote communities of the Northern Territory.
You may not have to pay.
I am committed to offering therapeutic experiences to people who can least afford it. If you have a mild to moderate mental health issue and are experiencing financial hardship, you may be eligible for bulk billing through Medicare. You will need a Mental Health Care Plan and referral from your GP.
I am here to stay.
There is nothing worse than building a relationship with a therapist, then learning that they are leaving their job or moving away. Seaspray is my home and my work space. I am really passionate about my community and making it a great place for everyone to live, work and play. This is where I grew up and this is where I will die.
I will ‘Walk and Talk’.
Sitting still doesn’t suit everyone especially if you feel fidgety or restless. Sometimes moving your body is part of what’s needed to help you relax, express yourself or allow trauma stuck in the body to move through. Whether it is along the Ninety Mile beach or around Lake Gutheridge, in a private session or in a group with our Narrative Walks program!
I am the only Certified Nature and Forest Therapy Guide in the Wellingto region.
If the stress of daily life has taken its toll, let me guide you into the forest or along the beach to help you slow down and reconnect mindfully with yourself and nature. You can book a private walk with a group of friends, colleagues or just yourself.

So what are your plans for your life in the decade to come? Let’s work together to make it happen. Get in touch.

‘Drumming Up Connection in Community’ with Simon Faulkner

July 31, 2019

by metaphor with No Comment Challenges and struggles Cross Cultural practice Culturally sensitive therapeutic tools Expressive therapies Group work Music therapy Podcast Practice tools Successful programs

My guest on the podcast this week is the brains and the hands behind the therapeutic program, Drumbeat at the Holyoake Institute. Simon Faulkner went on to set up his own business, further developing his Rhythm2Recovery model (R2R) which has now made its way into the UK, USA and Germany.

R2R combines experiential rhythmic music with cognitive reflection, as a therapeutic intervention suitable for one-to-one counselling, groupwork and community development. Thousands of practitioners across Australia have been trained to use drumming to connect with their clients experiencing a range of life challenges. Simon brings many years’ experience working cross culturally, delivering training programs and therapeutic interventions to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities as well as First Nations communities in the USA and Canada.

In this conversation, we discover how Simon, who does not identify as a musician, came to appreciate the drum as a therapeutic tool for connection.

In episode 31, we explore:

Why drumming has been such an effective therapeutic tool for working with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
Simon’s discoveries working with First Nations peoples in Canada and the USA, and how this has influenced the development of the Rhythm2Recovery model
How the drum if used correctly can promote a safe therapeutic relationship
An overview of the research behind rhythmic therapeutic interventions
The ways drumming is being used therapeutically in Indigenous communities around Australia and how it is being received
What inspired Simon to develop this methodology, and the beliefs and values behind his intentions for the work
The biggest struggles Simon faces in working cross culturally and the skills and knowledge he has used to overcome them
What really makes Simon’s heart sing in his community and your chance to get involved

To listen, simply click on the Play button below or listen via the Stitcher App for iOS, Android, Nook and iPad.

You can subscribe to future podcast episodes from our Subscription page. Don’t forget, if you or someone you know would make a great interview on ‘Talk the Walk’, send us an email from the Contact Page.

Things to follow up after the episode:

Rhythm2Recovery – access to training, resources, evidence and fact sheets.
Drum Circle Facilitator Training.
Performing Arts in Prisons, Intellect Books.
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion (2012) by John Haight.
Contact Simon Faulkner.

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How Did Metaphors Become a Part of My Therapeutic Framework?

August 9, 2018

by metaphor with No Comment Art therapy Challenges and struggles Counselling Culturally sensitive therapeutic tools Expressive therapies Healing from Trauma Metaphors Narrative therapy Practice tools Social Work with Indigenous communities The Life of Tree Working with Children Working with Metaphors

One of my very first learnings all those years ago in counselling work with Aboriginal people in the Northern Territory was their tendency to talk in round-a-bout ways. At first I found this frustrating. You could not ask a direct question and get a direct answer. It will usually be silence or a head nod (which does not necessarily mean yes, but a polite acknowledgement)! So I had to find ways that clients would be comfortable to share their experience safely in ways which suited their communication style and integrated their traumatic experience. After trying the methodologies I’d learnt from narrative therapy and getting such a good response, it dawned on me that working with metaphors was common sense. Aboriginal people have been communicating in metaphorical ways since time began, through their dreaming stories and ancestors. This way of working just fits! Whether it has been in individual counselling or groupwork with women and children or in training and mentoring with Aboriginal workers, concepts or ideas are much easier to communicate through metaphorical stories, verbal or visual.

My first exposure to working with metaphors was at the Dulwich Centre. “The Tree of Life” methodology was inspired by the work of Ncazelo Ncube of REPSSI (Zimbabwe/South Africa) to respond to children affected by HIV/AIDS. I’ve used this and its sister method “The Team of Life” with children in the Tiwi Islands with great success, training local Aboriginal women to facilitate the activity. The tree metaphor gives children a safe place to stand to explore challenges and problems in their lives without re-traumatising them. I also noticed how the adults supporting the children, started talking about their own lives using trees.

“Trees can teach us a lot about how to live. Our traditional way of life is about caring for each other and growing strong families. Now there are storms destroying our families and hurting our children. We can see it’s not a healthy life for our people”. – Elaine Tiparui, Bathurst Island.

Picture: Ian Morris. This image has been used to talk about the role of the whole family/community to grow up strong kids (Grandparents are the old growth trees in the background, Uncles/Aunties and parents in middle, teenagers as younger trees and babies/toddlers the little seedlings in front).

I went on to work collaboratively with the women of Tiwi Islands and NE Arnhemland to develop a new tool using the tree metaphor to invite women into a conversation about violence and its affect on children’s development. “It Takes a Forest to raise a tree: Healing Our Children from the Storms in their Lives” is my first resource produced in community, with community, for community.

As my counselling work progressed, I found that narrative therapy still relied on people being able to verbally express a story. Neuroscience tells us that the impact of trauma on the brain means that people are simply unable to talk about what happened to them, even if they wanted to! Many of the children, I’ve worked with were still very much non-verbal and I’ve come to rely more and more on art as a method of communicating and integrating traumatic experience. Working alongside Aboriginal Child and Family Support Workers using their own languages, we discovered ways for children to document their stories of abuse, violence and neglect using methods like drawing, clay, collage and mask making. Not surprisingly these stories were communicated through aliens, imaginary friends, monsters, dreaming animals, body parts and other such creatures apart from themselves. To offer other alternative ways in to children’s stories, I also went on to write ‘The Life of Tree’, a therapeutic picture book, designed to help Aboriginal children speak up about their trauma experience. Metaphors work in the most magical way to bring healing!

…metaphorically speaking will continue to experiment with playful and effective therapeutic tools using metaphors in our direct work with clients and in the resources we produce in the future.
You can read more about how we are integrating use of metaphors with other therapeutic modalities on our page ‘How We Work’.
You can also find further resources on using metaphors in counselling and trauma work in our Professional Development Library.

Externalising the ‘Storms of Life’: Creating Movement Towards Healing

October 27, 2016

by metaphor with No Comment Art therapy Culturally sensitive therapeutic tools Expressive therapies Healing from Trauma Metaphors Practice tools Storms of Life Trauma-informed practice Working with Metaphors

Top End storm over Fogg Dam. Image by I. Morris.

What I love about using art in therapeutic groupwork with Aboriginal women is giving them an opportunity to do some gentle inner reflection during the creation process, without causing retraumatisation. The idea from narrative therapy of being positioned on the riverbank to look at a problem, rather than feeling tossed around in the river, influenced the development of an activity we’ve called the ‘the storms of life’. This exercise was developed with an Elder with the intention of allowing women who have experienced violence or other trauma, to observe their problem moving away from them and letting go of whatever may be holding them back.

Any kids of art materials can be used such as paint, pastels, pencils or collage bits and pieces. The women are instructed to close or lower their eyes and imagine they are sitting on a beach, with water lapping at their feet and the sound of waves and a gentle breeze. They are safe and comfortable in this place. They do not have to leave this place of safety. They are encouraged to picture a storm in the distance over the horizon, slowly moving away from them. This storm holds memories of those things that have happened in the past, that still cause uncomfortable or painful feelings for them. After a few minutes when the women have a clear picture in their mind, they are encouraged to draw what they see. It is important the women stick with the metaphor and do not draw the bad things that have happened. You may like to encourage the women to think about colour; if it is dark or light, loud or soft, heavy or light; and the presence, intensity and distance of clouds, lightning, rain or wind.

A drawing is burned on the campfire to rid bad feelings.

I usually give women a good 20 to 30 minutes to draw or create. There is never any pressure for women to share their drawing however some choose to do so. This has been a powerful affirmation with others in the group as witnesses, of women’s intentions to make one small change for themselves or their children.

The fire is a strong symbol of healing, as a gathering place for sorting out problems, sharing stories and offering support to each other. Tiwi Elders have also used fire as a way of ridding bad spirits. When we have run this activity on healing bush camps, the women have been keen to burn their drawings as a way of letting go of bad feelings.

It has been interesting to observe the sense of movement that is created on paper through the externalisation of ‘the storms of life’. This movement has transferred to women as a collective following their traditional instincts of letting go of bad spirits, creating a profound sense of healing.

The remote counsellor's toolbox for giving children a voice

Giving Aboriginal Children a Voice

September 23, 2016

by metaphor with No Comment Children's voices Counselling Cross Cultural practice Culturally sensitive therapeutic tools Expressive therapies Healing from Trauma Practice tools The Life of Tree Violence and Abuse Working with Children

Using bear cards to give children a voice in the ‘third person’

One of the things I have been most passionate about in my work with children and their families is being able to give children a voice. Sometimes this can be very challenging. Children can be left silenced by their experience, especially in situations of domestic and family violence. Feelings like shame, sadness, anger, guilt, despair and fear prevent children from being able to find words.

As a counsellor in remote communities, it would be very easy to become complacent and dismiss the effects of violence as normalised behaviours in children; because violence is something many children may witness and learn to live with. But it is certainly not normal and violence shouldn’t be tolerated. It is my experience on the Tiwi Islands working alongside local people that children, especially boys, are too scared to talk about the violence occurring in their families. It could cause further shame for them or expose them to further punishment or abuse if they speak out.

So the challenge is….how do you allow children to have a voice without exposing them to further shame or trauma? Of course, one does not necessarily have to speak about the details of a bad memory in order to begin the process of healing. In fact, neuroscience suggests that sometimes it is physically impossible to recall all the details of a traumatic event anyway, due to the brains response to toxic stress and its effect on memory. Some children may not be consciously aware of what has happened to them even though the body remembers.
The goal then is to help children integrate and transform their trauma experience without having to recall any facts. The child will be able to relate to feelings, thoughts, sensations in the body and compulsions to behave in particular ways, even if they do not link this to any past hurts.

One way I have tried to assist integration and help children to make sense of their experience is encouraging the use of ‘third person’ voice. Play using miniature animals or puppets, drawing or play-doh creates all sorts of opportunities for imagined creatures to tell a story. For me, the bear cards have been a great resource in shifting children into this safe space; to explore what might have happened for bear to have an angry, scared or sad face, what is happening in his body and what he is driven to do. The process also fits really well with the idea of ‘externalisation’ in narrative therapy, allowing the child to see that a problem sits outside of themselves, rather than taking up permanent residence inside them. I have written elsewhere about the use of masks in therapy to assist with externalisation of feelings which are impacting in negative ways on children.

Another indirect way of assisting communication in therapy is through the use of metaphor. In my experience running group-work programs on Aboriginal family bush camps, I’ve discovered the power of using the tree metaphor to assist people to share their strengths, abilities and skills for getting through hard times.

It is through my discovery of the power of metaphor for communication and the challenge of working with Aboriginal boys, that inspired me to write a children’s therapeutic picture book. ‘The Life of Tree’ uses the tree metaphor to explore the issues of domestic and family violence. My hope was that by reading this story, Aboriginal boys in particular, might be invited into a safe conversation about their feelings, thoughts and actions in their own lives.

Over the past six months I have been mentoring Yolngu artist and friend, Christine Burrawanga, to create the images for the story. This is a story that is very close to Christine’s heart and so her strong culture, passion and enthusiasm to make a difference for her people has really shaped the book.

Our hope is that ‘The Life of Tree’ is a key to opening the door to the voices of children which have been locked away by the experience of violence. Healing from the trauma of violence can be a long journey. But if that door is opened ever so slightly as a child, perhaps the emotional burden they are carrying, will be lightened just a little bit.

Read Part II – Giving Aboriginal Children a Voice.

Lucy has over a decade of experience working with Aboriginal children, youth and their families

Reconnecting with the Hopes and Intentions we have for our Children

June 19, 2016

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The Rings of Growth is an art activity included in the first session of the Healing Our Children group-work program with women on the Tiwi Islands. In this session, the women are introduced to the metaphor of a tree as a way of reflecting on and talking about their own lives.

In our training with Tiwi workers we used the Life of a Tree video to show how each ring of the tree represents one year of growth. These rings can reveal years of hardship (such as lack of water), years of rapid growth (usually during our wet season) and other unforeseen events like insect damage, fire or even crowding out by other sun-loving trees. Although these rings may be invisible to us, the scars from these tough times are always there. The Rings of growth is a metaphor that can be used to think about the long term impacts of domestic and family violence on children. We cannot see inside a child, therefore we cannot assume they haven’t been affected. It can also be used to explore the influence that positive early childhood experiences have on children’s long term growth and development. This is the purpose through which we invite Tiwi women to document their own Rings of Growth and share hopes they have for their own children’s future.

This activity invites the women to draw the inside of a tree as if it was cut across the middle and each of the rings of life were exposed. The women are asked to think about what they were doing when they were a child and the memories they have about what other people did that made them feel good inside, safe and loved. These things, however small, are the things that helped them grow up and be strong. For each ring of the tree they have drawn, the women write or draw a memory of something that made them feel loved, safe and comfortable for each year of their childhood. This can include special events, favourite activities, special people in their lives, significant words said to them, important lessons they learned or stories they were told by Elders and family members. The women need at least 30 minutes on this activity to draw, colour, chat and share stories with each other. After there has been sufficient time to document significant memories and knowledge, the women are invited to explore what their drawing might tell them about hopes they have for the future of their children.

Women whose childhood experiences were largely pleasant, memorable and positive, usually have similar hopes and intentions for their children’s lives. For those that are struggling in their parenting, it can be a positive way of getting back in touch with hopes that have been lost along the way. Those women with an unpleasant memory may use the opportunity to explore what positive message or learning they have taken from their experience. They may reflect on how they want things to be different or better for their children than what they had experienced. Remembering and recommitting to these intentions within the support of a group, can move women to action in positive ways with their children.

In my experience, women have enjoyed making connections between their early childhood experiences with their own development into adulthood. Recently, one woman traced back her strong interest in natural remedies to her memory of being thrown in a big copper pot by her grandmother and being treated with bush medicine for chicken pox. Another first learnt to sew in school and is now actively involved in a women’s cooperative doing screen printing on fabric and making a variety of articles as her work for the dole activity. Yet another remembers her dad teaching her the rituals of the Kulama ceremony and is now instrumental in keeping this tradition alive with her grandchildren.

Metaphors have the power to be transforming and insightful. The learnings that women have taken away from this very simple exercise have been delightfully surprising. The potential is unlimited for adaptation for different client groups and contexts of work.

‘Therapy on the Go’ – Mandalas

March 26, 2015

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‘Therapy on the go’ is about sharing quick insights into healing practices that anyone, any age, any gender, can do anywhere, even if you are time poor. Whether you are wanting to reclaim a sense of groundedness in your life, achieve some insight into your self or simply relax through meditation, creating a mandala can do all this and more. You could doodle one in your coffee break or create some space on a weekend to really go for it!

A quick history. The Sanskrit word for mandala is ‘circle’ or ‘completion’. Eastern cultures have honoured the circle over thousands of years for its inherent beauty, wholeness and sacredness, with different interpretations put on its meaning for spiritual life. Carl Jung introduced mandalas to the Western World after noticing his patients spontaneously made circle drawings in therapy. He believed that if you drew mandalas or dreamed about them, it signalled a movement toward new self knowledge. Art therapist Cathy Malchiodi says mandalas “give us an experience of wholeness amid the chaos of every day life, making the “sacred circle” one of the very coolest art therapy interventions for both soothing the soul and meeting oneself.”

Mandalas are everywhere. They literally exist in the cells of my body, around my garden, even the universe. Take a look around your environment; notice the patterns and be inspired.

Quick reflection. Creating a mandala is a personal journey, it’s not about the final artwork. So take your time, enjoy it. Your mandala represents your inner emotions and thoughts at a particular point in time, through the shapes, colours and materials you use. Don’t think about it too much. Go with your gut instincts and see where your body takes you.

Quick instructions. Gather your choice of materials. If drawing is your preferred medium, try pencils or pastels on large paper. If you like collage, almost any crafty materials or articles from nature work. Things like coloured or patterned paper, buttons, pipecleaners, feathers, fabric, ribbons, lace, wool, match and popsicle sticks, crushed eggs shells, , jigsaw pieces, bottle caps, leaves, dry grasses, small shells – the possibilities are endless. It could be as simple as a black pen and white paper or a stick and sand.

Start by drawing a large circle. If you like use a compass or trace around a plate. Then in the centre of the large circle, draw a very small circle or glue a centre piece. Work outwards from there, using the ‘mandala dance method’. What’s that? You’ll have to watch the video. Basically, you draw a line (or glue items) radiating out from your centre at 12 o’clock, 6 oclock, 3 and 9 o’clock. Then you can divide each of these sections in half again, so you have eight lines. Keep adding lines, patterns or craft bits to your mandala until you fill the whole circle. Try experimenting next time with black paper or a canvas board.

Quick inspiration. An artist friend of mine, Alison Dowell recently ran a mandala making workshop for International Womens Day. Watch her quick instructions including her very cool ‘mandala dance’ here.

Here is a great picture summary, courtesy of one of my favourite websites where there is lots of inspiration.

Use your mandala as a centrepoint for meditation, to decorate a wall or turn it into a coaster. Above all, enjoy the experience! You’ll never know what you learn about yourself, if you don’t try therapy on the go.

A Narrative Approach to Working with Women who have Experienced Violent Relationships and others on the Journey of Life.

December 11, 2014

by metaphor with No Comment Cross Cultural practice Culturally sensitive therapeutic tools Domestic and family violence Expressive therapies Healing from Trauma Indigenous Voices Speaking Up Journey of Life Metaphors Narrative therapy Narrative work with Aboriginal communities Practice tools Working with Metaphors

Narrative therapy is all about re-authoring lives or giving voice to the alternative stories rather than the problem-dominated one. One of the tools for doing this is seeing life as a journey. David Denborough (2014) so eloquently revisits Michael White’s (1995) original idea of viewing life as a ‘migration of identity’ in his new book “Retelling the Stories of Our Lives’. I love this book because it sets out really simple ways we can help ourselves and others to rewrite and reclaim the stories of our lives from trauma or abuse to one of survival and strength. These documents can then be used to help others who are still on the journey and hitting hard times!

Denborough explores how the journey for a woman leaving a violent relationship can be a difficult one particularly at the point of separation when expectations of finding a sense of wellbeing again can soon plummet into feelings of confusion, insecurity and personal failure. However, mapping the journey of experiences of despair and wellbeing over time can help women see that a ‘trough’ is just one step on the ‘migration of identity’. Women can come to appreciate that these feelings are actually an indication of progress and a sign of their commitment to wanting a better life for themselves, rather than slipping backward. It also opens the way for conversations about how to equip oneself to avoid a ‘backlash’, when a women feels vulnerable to plunging back into the despair that tries to take over her life once again. (For more information on creating Migration of Identity Maps see Denborough, 2014, p. 126-7).

One of the other ways of using the Journey of Life metaphor is by drawing the journey as a path or road (Denborough p.132-7). I think this is a great model when working with Aboriginal people who usually like to draw and appreciate visual storytelling methods. To test this out, I recently sat down with Christine and we created a journey map of her life together using a piece of A4 paper, some textas and pastels.

At the end of the process, this is what it looked like.

The process is quite lengthy but very important for drawing out thick rich descriptions of the positive events, skills, knowledge and future aspirations of the storyteller. It begins by taking a large sheet of paper and drawing a winding road from one side to the other. In the middle, a circle is drawn. On the left is the ‘Road already travelled’ and the right is ‘the path yet to come’. Beginning on the starting point, stories are recorded in pictures and/or words about ‘Where you have come from’, ‘Favourite places travelled’, ‘Milestones achieved’ and ‘Obstacles overcome’. Here Christine drew a tree to represent her and her children that were hit by lightning. She recalled her strong mum, Aunty and Grandmother telling her “If you’re gonna stay here, you and the kids will lose your life”. They all supported her to go the women’s shelter and move away. This was a major Obstacle Overcome, which after a 4 year wait, resulted in the Milestone of getting her own home. The middle circle is for recording the ‘Circle of Support’ and above this, a compass of ‘Values, beliefs and principles’ that have guided them on the journey. Important to Christine is to “not lose my traditional footstep. I want to hold onto my culture and teach it to my kids”. On the top of the page, a ‘Survival kit’ can be drawn documenting what things they have turned to for strength in hard times. Christine shared “I think about the kids and what’s the next step for them and me. I paint to make myself busy and keep my mind off things. The pictures I paint tell stories reminding me about the good things”.

Part 2 is about looking forward. In a similar way, visual stories are recorded about ‘Where you are heading’, ‘Places you wish to see’, ‘things you wish to make happen’, ‘gifts you wish to give others’, ‘obstacles to overcome’ and even a favourite ‘travelling song’ that will help you on the journey. Christine was clear about the goals she had for her children to finish school, find a job and make a life for themselves. She has had these hopes ever since they were hit by the lightning obstacle and experienced worry for the children. “I realised what was happening and took action”.

Part 3 encourages the storyteller to look down at their journey like an eagle would if flying over. This externalising viewpoint allows them to think about ‘Good memories’, ‘Name your journey’ and think about ‘a message to others’. Christine’s Journey of Life map is now a useful tool for her to talk with other women about lessons learned to get through hard times. During our Journey conversation Christine stated she wants to “tell stories of what has happened to me (the hard times) so that it helps others…. including young people who are suffering” and to “help others identify the strengths they have to get through hard times. I try to help my daughter and other family who are stuck in these situations. I tell them you have to help yourself.”

References:

Denborough, D. 2014 “Retelling the Stories of Our Lives: Everyday Narrative Therapy to Draw Inspiration and Transform Experience”, W. W. Norton & Company, New York.

White, M. (1995) Re-authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays, Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications.

When All Else Fails, Push Play : The Healing Power of Music

September 11, 2014

by metaphor with No Comment Expressive therapies Healing from Injury and Chronic Pain Healing from Trauma My personal journey

Xavier Rudd follows the sun to the water.

Have you ever been so moved by a song that you look back and think that was a turning point in your life?

I was never really one to be touched by music in a really emotional way, until I reached my thirties. I was a third year university student and sitting in on the first lecture of Working With Indigenous Communities with Tony Kelly, a passionate man who had worked in the NT for 30 years. The only reason I’d taken his elective was out of curiosity – I’d heard that he cried in class. He pushed play on the cassette player (remember those?) and out came Paul Kelly’s From Little Things Big Things Grow. The tears started to form at the corner of my eyes and what followed was five months of no-holds-barred, in-ya-face black history (what I’d never learnt at school) and an invitation to take a long hard look at myself and my whiteness. Yep, it was a turning point. From Little Things… was a tiny seed planted and watered, which led me back to the NT.

Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah is a beautiful song, but it wasn’t until I watched the journey of the Choir of Hard Knocks culminating in their performance at the Sydney Opera House, that it gave me goosebumps. What Jonathan Welch and the homeless people of Sydney achieved together was nothing less than inspiring. Did you know that Leonard Cohen’s career had reached a low point when he wrote Hallelujah in 1984 and his record company didn’t bat an eyelid at it? Every time I hear it now, the goosebumps return.

I have a colleague, who I worked with just long enough a few years ago to make a spiritual connection through shared values and views about the world. We go months without seeing or talking to each other as we both lead busy and very different lives. However, earlier this year, when I was having a particularly tough time and felt like I had come to a crossroad, I got a call from her out of the blue. All she said to me was, listen to Rudd’s song – Follow Your Heart. When I opened the you-tube clip and and was invited to check “which way is the wind blowing”, tears welled up. Not so much because it became obvious to me what I should do. But because this distant friend, like a guardian angel or something, had delivered this message to me. Another turning point.

And this brings me to my last favourite song – another off Xavier Rudd’s album – Spirit Bird. See if you can get through this one without shedding a tear! Like a fighting warrior, these words provide the inspiration for me to keep going and never give up. I know I’m heading in the right direction.

I can count the number of songs that move me to tears or lift me up out of a low point, on one hand. But that’s what makes them all the more special.

What about you? In hard times, what are the songs that bring you healing? Share them. It could make all the difference to the life of another.

“Music is the art of the prophets, the only art that can calm the agitations of the soul.” Martin Luther (1483-1546)

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Metaphorical Drawing as a Tool to Build Relationships of Attachment between Foster and Kinship Carers and Children in their Care.

September 4, 2014

by metaphor with No Comment Art therapy Culturally sensitive therapeutic tools Expressive therapies Healing from Trauma Healing Our Children Practice tools Working with Children

The Northern Territory is over-represented when it comes to Aboriginal children in out-of-home care. And despite the Aboriginal Placement Principle being adopted, many Aboriginal children still find themselves placed with non-Aboriginal foster carers because they continue to be removed from their families and there are not enough Aboriginal carers. Not surprisingly, after all the trauma these little tikes have been through, it can be a battle for the Department and the Carers to make the placement work. Often these children haven’t been able to build a trusted relationship of attachment to their primary carer because of traumatic events in the family, let alone the strange adult they now live with.

Last week I was invited to participate in the Foster & Kinship Care Expo hosted by Foster Carers Association of the NT. I decided to engage the children in a fun drawing activity which foster and kinship carers could later take home and use to explore their relationship together. It goes something like this.

Children are asked to think about if they were an animal, what kind would they be? If they get stuck, I discuss with them the different characteristics of animals. Some are shy and quiet, others are happy and excited, while some are wild and angry. You get the picture! They are invited to then draw the animal that most closely resembles them, using their choice of drawing materials. I had crayons, pastels and textas available. I encourage them to fill in the whole page, drawing the habitat that the animal finds itself in on a daily basis. At the expo, some children chose to do several animals describing the different parts of themselves. Others, chose to include family members or friends represented by different animals in their picture.

The kids had lots of fun, but the real work happens later. Foster carers were invited to use my Take Home Sheet which offered ways of interviewing the child about their picture. You can learn a lot about what is going on for your child by talking to them through the animal eyes, so to speak. It is much easier for Aboriginal children to speak in third person through telling a story, than talking directly about their own experience and feelings.

At home, foster carers are also invited to draw an animal picture. This can be used to explore the relationships between the two animals, how well they get on, and what needs to happen for the animals to trust each other. Having this one-on-one time with the child, is a purposeful and meaningful way for the child to build a connection, using the safety and playfulness of their imagination. These kids deserve our full attention so avoid any chance of distractions like turning off your mobile.

If you’d like to read more about the questions to use when talking to children, download my Take Home Sheet here Build Relationships and Connection for Foster Carers and their children.

In my counselling work, I’ve written fictional stories with children about different animals and other characters, that is based on their own experiences. It’s a beautiful way to be able to help them communicate what they haven’t been able to express before. And help them make sense of what happened along the journey!

Never underestimate the power of play as a tool to share difficult experiences, communicate feelings and strengthen relationships!